Plodding Along

We all have regrets, even those of us brought into our childrens' lives after the suffering of divorce. I so agree with Jason and Wendy's words but couldn't have expressed it so clearly. I have to say, I'll never forget when Jason made the statement "always reforming" to me. I didn't get it and in fact was worried. I thought "Wait a minute, God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Don't tell me this reformed theology changes with cultures/generations!" Little did I realize...how much I still have to learn...but I am thankful I can always reform.

One of the ways my thinking has been challenged this last year is by asking this question, "How do we teach our bodies gratitude? My first thought I knew was wrong but it was "By denying it things." What I thought of was one important principle I was taught as a child that I have tried to pass on to my family. "Do the hard stuff and leave the easy for last." How I interpreted that saying was "Do the stuff you don't like first, then do the stuff you want." The problem with this statement is when you are given more responsibility and freedom, you don't always have to do the stuff you don't want to do first. You may never do it, i.e. exercise. How should we answer that question? How do we teach our bodies gratitude? By denying it things that will hurt it. In other words, doing what is good for the body or DISCIPLINE. I am glad my mind is reforming.

Now what does this have to do with this book? This is going to S-T-R-E-T-C-H our minds, which is about the last thing I want to do. But I want my thinking to continue to reform and my understanding to be richer so living a life of gratitude will be more evident in all I say and do. Then maybe the Lord will use my life to help break this chain of divorce, in the family in which I married, with the children I am helping raise.

Ginger

Multigenerational Vision

her father, at least when they come to marriage. You see, he has lived his life thinking that a young man will someday ask permission for Hodels hand in marriage and she will ask for his consent and this doesn't happen. When Tevye denies permission Hodel informs her father that they are not asking permission, they are just asking for his blessing. As you can imagine, this rocks Tevyes world.

Great introduction. I love how the Lord doesn't allow us to become comfortable where we are in life for very long. The idea of always reforming is so good. Sanctification. It makes us rely on God's grace than our striving. I think we all have regrets about how we have not taken the incredibly important job of parenting as seriously as we need to. It is so easy to settle for "OK", when the Lord has so much more. I loved the definition in the book of reform: to remove its ineffective and unjust qualities. Jason, like you were saying about all the Christian books on parenting advice, ineffective and at times even unjust. We have gotten so far away from God's definition of biblical manhood and womanhood. So far away. I am so looking forward to reading and discussing this book with you all and I hope the Lord will use this book and even us to spark family reformation in the lives we come in contact with. Keep reading!!

Still thinking!!

Rivival and Reformation

Join with me in praying for the visible church and more specifically our church, that we would be awakened and revived as we sit under the preaching of the Gospel. That God would administer grace to us to make us strong as we endeavor to glorify Him with our whole lives and as we teach our children to do the same. And as this happens that we would continue to reform our practices no matter what our culture continues to communicate to us.

A slogan coming out of the reformation was semper reformanda, Latin for always reforming. The idea being that the church must always be reforming, continually aiming to be more conformed to the Word of God. You see, unless perfection has already been achieved and there is no more room for sanctification, then we need to continue to strive and conform ourselves to the Word of God. With that said the same is true for our families, we need to constantly conform the way that we lead our families to the Word of God.

Familia Semper Reformanda,
(Families Always Reforming)
Jason

Regret and Repentance

The introduction of this book personally cut deep into my heart. I know first hand what it means to regret. Unlike most of you I have two grown children and a failed marriage that reminds me constantly that I must not take my responsibilities as a husband and father too lightly. As a young Christian I bought into the lie (hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray) of the moralistic, therapeutic, feel good Christianity. I was promised by Christian authors that if I followed all the directions of their books, I would be a successful father and husband which would lead to a perfect family and as a result I would be happy, as if happiness is the real goal in life. I now realize that none of those authors even dared to rebuke me, telling me that I needed to repent. Maybe it is because telling people that they need to live a life of repentance doesn't sell books, or maybe the authors really didn't understand the Gospel. But instead of bitterness, I now have peace and can rejoice.

ROMANS 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Familia Semper Reformanda,
Jason

Miscellaneous Ramblings

Everyone has their book ordered and we should be ready to start reading together the last week of April.

If possible, you may want to consider reading the book as a family, the sections that I have skimmed so far seem to be appropriate for our children to hear and definitely would be worthy of family discussion.

If you have not responded to the blog invite, please do so. This way we will be able to all communicate on the blog. Basically once you have accepted the invite you can make posts. Just SIGN IN at the top of the page and then select the NEW POST button.

Just starting the book this morning. Looking forward to some good discussions. Thank you for inviting us to join you all.

What is Cornerstone Book Club?

Cornerstone Book Club is a group of Cornerstone Christian Church congregants that love to read. But not only love to read but to converse with other like-minded individuals about what they have read. The purpose is to engage in a healthy dialog that challenges us all to think deeper of the things of God for His Glory.

What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter

All parents want their daughters to marry godly young men. But which qualities, specifically, should they be looking for?

What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be… If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife’s role, and various spiritual leadership qualities.

Author Voddie Baucham follows up on his popular book Family Driven Faith with this compelling apologetic of biblical manhood. By studying the principles outlined in his book, parents who want their daughter to marry a godly man—as well as those who want their sons to become godly men—will be well equipped to help their children look for and develop these God-honoring qualities.

The Plan

I know you all live busy lives and don't have time for another meeting or group study. The thing is, we all have time to read. So let's read the same book together slowly but individually and discuss what we have read so we can challenge each other to grow in the knowledge of God. The book that I would like to read is What He Must Be... if he wants to marry my daughter by Voddie Baughman Jr.. This is an easy yet profound book to read, not like Institutes of Christian Religion which is profound but laborious. Instead of reading a chapter a day, you will need to read one easy chapter each week. I feel that this will be beneficial to us all because we all have sons and/or daughters and I know that we have the same concerns raising our children in the interesting culture that we live in today.

Okay here is the plan:

FIRST - Purchase the book. I have found a few different retailers that you can order the book from online and they are listed on the right of this page.

SECOND - Commit to reading one chapter a week for 12 weeks and post your thoughts and questions on this blog.

THIRD - Check the blog a few times a week and respond to other peoples comments, the object is to dialog.

FOURTH - Plan on gathering with the group for a meal and final discussion once the book is completely read.

Here is how the book is laid out:
Chapter 1: Mutigenerational Vision
Chapter 2: The Ministry of Marrage
Chapter 3: A Fathers Role
Chapter 4: He Must Be a Follower of Christ
Chapter 5: He Must Be Prepared to Lead
Chapter 6: He Must Lead Like Christ
Chapter 7: He Must Be Committed to Children
Chapter 8: He Must Be a Protector
Chapter 9: Don't Send a Woman to do a Man's Job
Chapter 10: Can't Find One... Build One

How can we pass up a book with chapter titles like this? Join me in trying to be countercultural in raising children.

Amazon.com - Customer Reviews

The world we live in and the way we live in it demands change from Christian parents. Not just tinkering around the edges, but radical, wholesale change to the way we approach parenting. Most, and I say that with full assurance, books on "Christian" parenting are of minimal use, if any, because they see Christian parenting as little different than non-Christian parenting. We raise our kids in the same way, with the same methods and (tragically) with the same expectations, just with a little bit of youth group thrown in. Why then are we surprised when we get the same terrible results?

For example. Think about how much time parents spend on planning for their kids. Planning to have them at a convenient time. Setting up college funds. In some places, getting an as yet unborn child on a waiting list for the premier daycare or preschools. Setting up schedules for the ever increasing number of activities that kids are involved in from piano lessons to sports. Planning intricate and expensive family vacations. Picking a church based on the youth program. Detailed examinations of colleges to make sure that little Susie or Bobbie get in just the right college so that they can get a "good job". But what about the most important decision they will make? There is nothing that will have a greater impact on the bulk of our children's lives than who they marry, and yet for so many parents that is not even on the radar, nor is it viewed as something that parents need to be actively involved in. Just raise `em the best we can and send `em out and hope for the best!

That is the impetus behind Voddie Baucham's new book "What he must be...if he wants to marry my daughter". It is high time that the people of God turn to the Word of God to see how to raise the gift of God that we have received in our children. This is not a book, as I am sure it will be caricatured by many, on arranged marriages or domineering patriarchy. It is a book that calls on Christian parents to take an active and intentional role in raising up our kids to seek the right kind of spouse and being deeply engaged in that process. It is also not just about helping our daughters marry godly young men, it is also about helping our sons become the godly men that Christian young women should desire to marry. This is, despite the title, not just a book for parents of young women. I would heartily recommend this book to parents who have just sons, married couples who don't have kids yet, couples thinking about getting married, single adult women and men, teenaged girls and boys alike. I fully intend to have my girls read this book and then talk about it with them, because I can say with confidence that if they seek out a spouse in the manner and with the characteristics that Voddie lays out, they are far more likely to have a sustainable, happy and Biblical marriage. That is far more important to me than them "marrying well", which means marrying a doctor or finding "Mr. Right".

The chapters raise issues that will seem completely foreign to many parents. Our daughters should seek a young man who is committed to children? Huh? They should seek a young man who is a Christian, and not just a "church member" but someone who has a grasp of the Bible, is daily seeking God's will in His Word, someone who is committed first and foremost to Christ. Have you ever thought about meeting a potential suitor for your daughter and engaging them in a discussion of theology to see if they really are in the Word or just going through the motions? In one of the chapters that will cause people to freak out, we should teach our daughters to seek young men who understand and embrace patriarchal male headship. What!? Yes indeed! When we teach our young women a watered down feminism that sees radical egalitarianism in family life as the "enlightened" model that they should seek, is it any wonder that they marry poorly and have families that are not run in a Biblical manner?

One thing that is clear in reading this book: it is unlike most of the books on marriage, parenting, courtship, families, etc. that you will find filling the bookshelves of "Christian" bookstores. Having perused a few of those books, and having seen first hand the effect those books have on the church, I can say that you are far better off pitching 99% of them in the trash. It is not hyperbole to say that this is one of the best, one of the most vital books on Christian parenting to come along in recent years (or even decades).

I have said it before and I guarantee I will say again in future posts: weak families lead to weak churches. If you want to take a substantive step toward building a strong, Biblical, multigenerational family that will lead to strong, Biblical, multigenerational churches, the best thing you can do is read everything the Bible says about parenting and families. The very next step is to run, don't walk!, to your nearest bookstore or online retailer, get What he must be...if he wants to marry my daughter by Voddie Baucham, read it, read it again and buy a copy for a friend.

To see other Amazon.com reviews: CLICK HERE