A Training Ground for Church Leaders

How we train our children can have an effect for the next four generations. We must ask ourselves, are we training our children to love their church, to love its people, to love the Word, and to communicate what they know. If they don't then there is no way that they are going to be able to communicate it to their families.

If our children learn these things while they are young they will be a step ahead of our generation who has grown up not really understanding our place in the church and how it should effect every part of our lives.

I have often thought and prayed for my daughters adult life but have not really thought about it in relation to the church. Is there going to be another generation of my family involved in the life of our church? In a very real way we are all training the church body of the future. Will they understand the Means of Grace? That God actually feeds us spiritually through the preaching of the Word and the Sacraments. I look forward to the day when our grandchildren are excited to come to church, even on Sunday nights because they are hungry to be fed.

QUESTION: Where is the church told to look for its leaders?

ANSWER: The church is instructed to look for its leaders in the first institution, the family.

1 Peter 5:1-3 ¹So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: ² shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; ³ not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

We may or may not be raising our children to be pastors but we are training boys and girls to be men and women who fear the Lord and lead their families to do the same.

The Ministry of Marriage in Cultural Wasteland

As I read chapter 2 and 3, I have to admit, my heart sang! I knew that I had bought the lie the culture fed me as a teen about children being a curse, not a blessing, and by the grace of God, the lie was exposed to replace it with the truth of the blessing and heritage of children to Karlie and Blake. Even though the culture tried to lie to me about marriage, I had real life experience of marrying young on my side. While it was warped with the childless selfish years, it still was a blessing that people couldn't convince me otherwise. It's where the Lord grew me up. For years I have encouraged Karlie and Blake to look to marry young and for some time now have even been saying, marry young (of course, according to the Word) and fill your quivers with blessings! How exciting to be able to watch the Lord raise up a generation of children imbued with truth! After watching a TV series about a Christian family raising 18 children of their own, Blake told me the other day that he'd like to maybe not have that many, but that 10 sounded like a good size. Ten?! Wow, what the Lord is doing! I am so thankful for this book to be giving us such wonderful biblical principles to guide us as we guide our children into the ministry of marriage. I really enjoyed the whole concept of marriage being a ministry. I'm going to be encouraging the youth in my life to get this book and consider the ministry of marriage!

J's anticipated comments

Well, here I am, my first posting as well. I too am liking the book very much and enjoyed reading it (at least getting started) with Cari and talking through some of the points.

My comment on the statistics regarding the descendants of Edwards is that while the author is clearly contrasting these stats to his own family to try to illustrate the difference a father makes, he falls into the trap of defining (at least showing) success in the ways the world would, such as becoming lawyers, doctors, politicians, etc. It would be much better if an illustration could be made saying 50 descendants were priests to their family, 75 protectors, etc. I do realize this is difficult due to those attributes being more subjective, but it should be said that just because you are a doctor it does not make you a person who is clearly devoted to Christ and your family (which is a key goal).

Happy reading,
J

Chapter 1 Response

J and I read Chapter 1 together last night. This is going to be a very thought-provoking book; we came face to face with ideas and thoughts that we have had at the back of our minds, but not really discussed yet. For instance, the fact that we must take our responsiblity seriously in helping our daughters (and sons) find suitable mates. To quote the book, "We must walk with our daughters through this process of finding a suitable husband. We must also actively protect our daughters from men who do not measure up to God's standard" (pp. 14-15). It is as simple as that - it isn't our standard; it is God's, and we must be sober-minded when coming alongside our children in helping them evaluate potential suitors.

I agree with Laurie's comments regarding the qualifications of a husband: Not only must he be a Christian, but it matters what kind of Christian he is. Is he reformed? Does he take his walk with the Lord seriously? Is his relationship with the Lord of the utmost importance? Does he attend Church as much as he possibly can? Is he committed to the Lord and his family, no matter what it takes? Is he willing to deny himself for the sake of the Lord and his family? There are so many questions to consider when evaluating potential suitors. I appreciate Voddie's statement that it is our responsiblity as parents to teach our children what the requirements are in looking for a God-honoring spouse, and to encourage them not to settle for less than God's best for them (pp. 17-18).

In the beginning of the chapter, the book states that we all know deep down that God is the author of marriage, and understand that marriage is sacred (p. 14). Voddie also states that, "A young man who is worthy of a wife will have a clear understanding of the covenantal nature of marriage. He will also have a healthy apprehension when he thinks about the magnitude of his responsibility should he assume the role of a husband and father" (p. 23). How true! Marriage "is the most life-altering decision [our children] will make apart from coming to repentance and faith in Christ." Wow! That alone is enough to cause us, as Christian parents, to do our very best to ensure that our children enter into the sacredness of marriage with the knowledge that it is a coventantal commitment, one that is ordained by God, one in which their choice in mates matters for life. J and I have been frequently praying for our children's future spouses, but this book has reminded me that we must be more serious and diligent in our prayers. This is not to be taken lightly.

J has an interesting comment about the descendents of Jonathon Edwards, which I found very insightful and revealing as to our own culture saturation. I will let him blog it, though.

I, too, really liked the analogy of being shade-tree planters. Voddie says that he has since used the illustration to his children many, many times: "Kids, you must seek to become the kind of people who plant shade trees for others to sit under....We constantly talk about living our lives in such a way that we plant spiritual shade trees for the benefit of others...life is about more than the here and now" (p. 16). That says it all! We not only are helping our own children in finding suitable mates, but we are also planting seeds for future generations. That is another Wow! That is J's and my prayer: to leave a legacy that is God-honoring and God-glorifying, and I know that is true for all of you as well.

I apologize for the long length of my post. This is my first time posting anything, and I got a little excited! I also am quite wordy in my writing, so please bear with me.

To God be all glory!

Pressing On

As I watched the "Fiddler on the Roof" clip, I was struck by how culture has so molded my thinking. The last time I watched the movie, instead of being heartbroken for the father watching his daughter leave all she had been taught for her own desires, I was heartbroken for the daughter not being supported by her father. Now my heart grieved with the father as I put myself in his place. I am thankful that the Lord is continually reforming my mind and that He has a merciful, multigenerational plan that He is in the process of revealing to us all.
Reading over the basic requirements of a Christian husband I was reminded of the many conversations I have had with Karlie and Blake concerning what being "equally yoked" in marriage should be. It's not just marrying a "Christian", but a strong Christian (think of a baby calf and an ox being yoked together versus two mature oxen). It's not just marrying any "Christian" (eg. Arminian), but one that holds to the tenets of orthodox Christianity (i.e. Calvinism). We spoke of how difficult it would be to either lead as a husband or submit as a wife, with a spouse that held such different views of biblical doctrine. They both want to home school their children, so they realize that must be the heart of their future spouses as well. Some people have commented to me that my children will probably never marry then. What a low view of the God we serve. I see the Lord raising up a generation for His glory! Nothing is impossible for Him! We must forget what is past, and press on to the goal.

A Multigenerational Object Lesson

I love Voddie's example of shade trees, "Kids, you must seek to become the kind of people who plant shade trees for others to sit under." Much too often I want the shade now, which is quite a selfish concept. Instead I/we need to embrace the fact that somebody needs to plant those trees, the trees that generations of people will sit under for years to come. I'm the type of person that loves the perfect manicured yard but hates all the work the that it takes to get it there. But to have a multigenterational vision I need to keep the weeds pulled, mow my lawn, and plant those trees for future generations to come.

Familia Semper Reformanda,
Jason